Let me make one thing clear: this is a developer’s blog. That being said, let’s talk about food. A few (developer) buddies of mine and I decided to go on a quest to find the best burger ever. This is the first installment of the Burger Critics series and I couldn’t be more excited, which is kind of sad but whatever.

Burger’s Bar

• Restaurant: Burger’s Bar,
• Address: Vorgartenstrasse 204, A-1020 Vienna
• Date: 2019-01-08

Yes, they have a website, but no https and they display their PHP extensions in the url.

Score: 76.99

For an explanation on how the score is calculated, click here

Overall a really nice score, allow me to explain why.

Burger Bread Score: 5.67

The bread was alright. They call it Brioche bun, we call it just alright.

Burger Sauce Score: 6.00

I’m not a saucy type of guy, but the other guys seemed to enjoy the sauce a fair bit.

Burger Meat Score: 6.83

This is the most important category, and they did not too badly. With most of their burgers, you can choose to either get a small (140g), medium (180g) or extra large (220g) patty. Why the extra large one is not simply called “large” I will never understand.

But that’s not important, the taste is. And it was good, grilled medium to please the crowd and overall quite tasty.

Selection of Side Dishes Score: 6.67

They had

• Homemade Fries
• Wedges
• Sweet Potato Chips
• Mixed Salad
• Grilled Vegetables
• Onion Rings (YES)
• Coleslaw

It’s nice to see those keto-friendly side dishes, but since these burger nights are effectively my cheat days, I don’t really care too much.

Taste of Side Dishes Score: 6.50

We were pretty split on this one. Some of us liked it very much, some, including me, not so much. The fries were somewhat “overcooked”, making them very crispy, so if that floats your boat, know yourself out.

Similarly, the onion rings had a lot of rings but very little onion to them. It’s less a matter of taste and more a matter of “I like that way of preparing food”.

None of us tried the salads or the vegetables since we didn’t want our biceps to shrink.

Selection of Drinks Score: 7.50

This one was just excellent. They had all kinds of self-made ice teas and sodas, and they were delicious. Props to you, Burger’s Bar, you’re my favorite bar that also has burgers but positions themselves as a burger place.

Selection of Sauces: 7.17

One thing here particularly caught our eyes: the Up to Million Sauce, claiming to score a whopping one million Scoville Heat Units. I was a wimp and didn’t want my burger to just taste hot, but some of the other guys tried it. They said it starts of manageable but after a while, it does get considerable hot, not enough though to make any of them cry, either the sauce is a fraud or they are manly. Fraud it is then.

Payment Options Score: 6.33

The way we rate this is, we start at 8 and subtract points for that they don’t have. They didn’t support Amex and Diner’s Club, which is pretty common in Europe, but they also didn’t support Bitcoin, which hurt.

Price Score: 4.83

Honestly, it was quite pricey. The XL burgers all cost either € 12.90 or € 11.90. Climbing a tier costs € 1.00, but with the drinks and the dessert it does add up. If you want to try this restaurant, consider bringing your rich friend and forgetting to bring your wallet.

Service Score: 7.50

The waitress was an absolute delight. Super nice, answering our stupid questions and cracking jokes with us. Whatever you tip her, it won’t be enough.

Waiting Time Score: 6.33

We went there on a Tuesday evening, but still, it was somewhat packed. Nonetheless, the burgers were prepared fairly quickly, the waiting time seemed just alright. We still expect it to be considerably longer on the weekends though, so be prepared for that.

Selection of Desserts Score: 2.83

They only had three desserts:

• Chocolate Chili Brownie
• Chimichanga
• American Pancakes

We tried all of them.

Taste of Desserts Score: 5.67

I am the sweet tooth of the gang, and since I’m doing keto and don’t eat any sugar during my keto diet, my senses were heightened. Unfortunately, I found the desserts just alright, they were fine, but nothing spectacular. My friend Ali doesn’t agree with me, though. He was flabbergasted when he saw brownies with chili on the menu, and their taste agreed with him. I tried them too, I wouldn’t say the tastes don’t match each other, the brownie just wasn’t good enough and the chili sauce didn’t help in that regard. But then again, Ali’s head exploded with joy so your mileage may vary.

Atmosphere Score: 5.17

Again, a controversial one. Ali hated it, but our other friend Ralph loved it. It seemed very studenty, but we were sat right next to the kitchen, take it or leave it we were told. I couldn’t really blame them, after all, we were six guys with no reservation.

Conclusion

A score of 76.88 is really not bad. Bring some extra money and try it, the burger won’t disappoint you but the overall experience may be a little underwhelming.